yesterday was our anniversary, and while it was spent doing some of our favorite things like playing music at mass and shopping at savers, this post isn’t about that.
you probably don’t care that i wore my wedding dress around and pretended to walk down the aisle. you probably don’t care that i had a gyro for dinner and nate had a burger (we’re simple folk). and you probably don’t care that on our paper anniversary i got nate a roll of toilet paper to take on our next camping trip and he got me a cute old copy of one of my favorite books (wuthering heights, in case you do want to know).
this post isn’t about any of that either.
i laughed almost out loud yesterday before Mass when i saw that the second reading was from Ephesians 5: “husbands love your wives” and all that. well i’m not a theologian and this post isn’t about the option to omit that part of chapter either.
it’s about this:
“As a result of this, many of his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him. Jesus then said to the Twelve, ‘Do you also want to leave?‘ Simon Peter answered him, ‘Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.’”
– John 6:66-9
this was in the Gospel yesterday. Jesus told everyone that He was the bread of life, the bread that will satisfy them entirely and yet many walked away. can you blame them? it seemed to be a ridiculous claim. of all the things you could be you chose to be bread? not fire or a tornado or a shark, but bread? and while many did turn away from Him, simon peter could see something in Jesus that the others couldn’t see. peter could see that Jesus was the Son of God.
why bread? well it’s delicious and everyone gets hungry. but even more than that it shows once more how God has provided for His people. this time it’s not manna in the desert but manna in a person, in love itself. manna that will satisfy heartache and pain, all desire and search for love or happiness.
through working with nate each day and learning to live as his wife and through the loses and fights we’v shared, one thing has remained in my heart: Jesus, You are the words of eternal life. You have everything we need.
marriage is really quite strange to me, even after a year. my whole life i dreamed of a wedding and a true love and i never stopped to think what that would actually look like. what is life like after the happily ever after?
i’ve realized every day this year how the rest of my life is in front of me. years and years and hopefully more years of life and i have no clue how it will unfold. and every day this year i’ve realized just how important those words of peter really are.
where else will we go when life gets too hard? where else will we go when we’re too stubborn to admit our faults? where else will we go when we are hurting and don’t want to go to each other? Jesus, You have the words of eternal life.
i pray that in this next year of marriage that we do better. i pray that when we do want to turn and run in fear that we turn and run to Jesus and we eat of the bread of life.
this post isn’t much but it will remind me of what we have been called to: a life giving marriage, one that at the end of everything will bring us face to face with Jesus.
“Jesus we believe that You are the Holy One of God. Jesus we believe that you are our provision and protection and life. Jesus, You are everything to us and we will follow.”